


Castiel's Choice

by NammiKisulora



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s05e04 The End, Friendship, Future Castiel, Gen, Loyalty, The End 'Verse, mention of drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 21:32:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NammiKisulora/pseuds/NammiKisulora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the world where Sam said yes to the Devil, Castiel is given a choice by his brothers, and he chooses Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2011

**Author's Note:**

> Edited repost from FF.net, unbeta'd.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whispers have been there, but so quietly it has been hard to make out the words. Now, however, the whispering has become a roar, and it is impossible for him to miss what they say.
> 
> "It's time to leave!"

After Sam says yes, Castiel starts hearing the voices of the other angels much louder and clearer than for almost a year and a half, when he rebelled against Heaven and was cut off.

 

The whispers have been there, somewhere in the back of his head, but never more than just whispers, so quiet it has been hard to make out the words, the messages. Now, however, the whispering has become a roar, and it is impossible for him to miss what they say.

 

_It is time to leave, it is time to leave! Come, brothers, sisters, all the Host will gather to go back to Heaven! Come, come, it is time to leave!_

 

Castiel listens to them, feels the pull of thousands of graces flowing all around him, almost intertwining themselves with his again. He knows it is an invitation, a call for him to come, that this is his chance to choose Heaven once again, forever this time.

 

He tells Dean, of course, who slams the brakes so hard Castiel is completely convinced they are going to crash, and the Impala slides to a shaky stop at the side of the road.

 

“They’re _what_!?”

 

“They’re leaving, Dean. And…” He feels the pull on his grace, hears the angels whisper his name,

 

_Castiel, Castiel, come with us, you will be forgiven, come with us_

 

and for the first time, he simply cannot look Dean in the eye, “and they want me to leave with them.” Dean gets out of the car, and Castiel follows. Their eyes meet over the roof of the Impala, and Dean lifts his hands like he wants to slam them down on it, but changes his mind, and his palms hit the roof with only a soft thud.

 

“Damnit, Cas.” Castiel just looks at him, waiting for the continuation. “Just – just – why are you still here?” That takes him by surprise. “This is your chance, your chance to become a full-blown angel again. Get your mojo back, your _family_ back!”

 

_Come, Castiel, come with us, and all will be forgiven_

 

“No.”

 

Dean takes a deep, slightly shaky breath and runs a hand over his face.

 

“Cas…” Castiel looks away, feels the touch of his brothers’ graces on his own, the soft, soft mingling of pure energy and endless beauty. It is so tempting, so tempting to give in to the whispers, to the promise of forgiveness; the voices are so perfect, so beautiful, speaking in the most perfect of languages, calling him back home.

 

“No.” The word is barely a whisper, he cannot make himself say it louder because it takes all his willpower not to let himself go and join the flow of grace, the Host he has been part of since the beginning of time, and fly back to Heaven with them.

 

But stronger than the longing for his family is the feeling that his place is here, right here – on Earth, at Dean’s side. He cannot abandon him now.

 

“Cas. Go. Go with them. You know they won’t give you another chance like this.”

 

“No, Dean. My place is here, with you.”

 

_Come, Castiel, come with us, come back to Heaven, return to our ranks, be forgiven_

 

“Please, Cas.” Castiel could swear that he sees tears pool in Dean’s eyes. “Don’t be such a damn fool!”

 

“I’m staying, Dean.” Dean turns, gets back into the car, and Cas follows. The whispers of the Host are dying down again, and he knows that this time it’ll disappear completely. He can’t feel the other graces touching his anymore, and the voices are fading by the second.

 

He is so caught up in the feeling of loss that he almost misses Dean’s soft, murmured words.

 

_“Thanks, Cas.”_


	2. 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Cas stoned, he can almost remember what it’s like to fly.

When he’s stoned, he can almost remember what it’s like to fly. The Enochian words escape him, though, and he’s accepted since long that he’ll have to stick with the normal, Latin exorcisms, his own language forgotten.

 

Sometime, when he dreams, he can hear his brothers speaking, and for a moment after waking up he can almost feel the mingling of grace, the soft touch of perfection. Those are the worst days, when he can’t stop the memories from bubbling to the surface.

 

After the angels left, it didn’t take very long until he started questioning his decision to stick with Dean, instead of leaving with his brothers.

 

After a year, he was sure, and Dean knew it too, had known it all along. He had told Cas to go, but Castiel had been too loyal, too stubborn, to listen. In the end it was Dean who left him anyway, became all cold and distant, so far from the man Castiel once pulled from Hell, leaving Cas alone, feeling his sacrifice had been for nothing.

 

And Cas curses the stupid angel he once was for not taking the chance of leaving with the others, but knows it’s way too late now, there won’t ever be another chance.

 

So he rolls another joint, and tries to remember how it felt to fly.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos is lovely and reviews are the best things in the world!
> 
> English isn't my native language, so please forgive any mistakes and feel free to point them out!


End file.
